...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
