So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
