I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
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