lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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