I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
