It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
