Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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