go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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