The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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