I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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