big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
