How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
