i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
