I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
