I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
love makes seman taste better
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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