One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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