Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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