What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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