bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
