But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
