so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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