Rock
Scissors
Fuck
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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