thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
