where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
