I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
