I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
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