shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
How does it feel to date your dad?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
