i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
