the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
