So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
