nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
