there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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