you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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