Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
