I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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