I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
