you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Sext me about skeletons
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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