he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
