Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
