Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
