We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
