All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
