I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
