She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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