Plan B is the new Plan A
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
