We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
