Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I think a kid would responsible me up
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
