my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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