I need help removing her.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
