He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
