I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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