I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
