____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Blood and glitter go together right?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
