would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
