He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
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