what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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