Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Fuck appropriateness.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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