so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
