If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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