Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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